








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




127 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3307 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3418 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2646 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1997 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,337,143 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 521 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Only_a_Shadow | 50% | 54 |
| #2 | emBu #UnLuCkY | 50% | 135 |
| #3 | naturaL. | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 46% | 115 |
| #5 | ToBrO | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | emBu #UnLuCkY | 50% | 135 |
| #3 | naturaL. | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 46% | 115 |
| #5 | ToBrO | 45% | 44 |
| #6 | chrise2002 | 45% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrise2002 | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | naturaL. | 9 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Only_a_Shadow | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | emBu #UnLuCkY | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 179 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | emBu #UnLuCkY | 129 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Only_a_Shadow | 113 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | naturaL. | 104 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | ToBrO | 93 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4G3Z | +3.35 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | naturaL. | +1.09 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | ToBrO | +0.39 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | emBu #UnLuCkY | -0.74 | 69 | 68 |
| #5 | chrise2002 | -1.11 | 70 | 41 |





