








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 889 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4966 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3096 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4074 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1523 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,582,327 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blockeR | 87% | 282 |
| #2 | Hex- | 85% | 206 |
| #3 | P | 85% | 356 |
| #4 | Binkowski | 85% | 230 |
| #5 | Kiwi | 84% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Knocks | 78% | 190 |
| #12 | ROb | 77% | 73 |
| #13 | M1KA | 77% | 184 |
| #14 | Firefoxjen | 75% | 85 |
| #15 | Tyson | 74% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 19 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Binkowski | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Tyson | 14 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | P | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | blockeR | 13 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴾʸᵘʰ | 808 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | P | 780 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | Hex- | 617 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | blockeR | 615 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #5 | M1KA | 581 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ishtar | +3.92 | 98 | 48 |
| #2 | P | +3.64 | 87 | 53 |
| #3 | redf0x | +3.47 | 90 | 44 |
| #4 | blockeR | +2.65 | 88 | 75 |
| #5 | Knocks | +2.42 | 63 | 83 |





