








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 982 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 890 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9266 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5961 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5884 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5283 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,954,703 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1730 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | chowder | 85% | 123 |
| #7 | ᴾʸᵘʰ | 85% | 427 |
| #8 | P | 84% | 723 |
| #9 | Pach0 | 81% | 95 |
| #10 | Juan Tap™ | 78% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P | 40 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Binkowski | 26 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | blockeR | 19 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | chowder | 18 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | ᴾʸᵘʰ | 10 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴾʸᵘʰ | 2238 | 0.29 | 50 min |
| #2 | P | 1683 | 0.13 | 36 min |
| #3 | blockeR | 1275 | 0.13 | 34 min |
| #4 | Binkowski | 1015 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #5 | chowder | 625 | 0.27 | 14 min |





