








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2080 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2117 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1489 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2041 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,849 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Patrón | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Str0ke- | 72% | 39 |
| #3 | ................... | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | spph | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | Skyfusion | 62% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | R1 | 61% | 18 |
| #7 | ✪︎ StyriX | 61% | 33 |
| #8 | 🔸Yuliyan | 60% | 107 |
| #9 | Paco Di Bango ♛ ♛ ♛ | 58% | 31 |
| #10 | HadesA | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skyfusion | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | 🔸Yuliyan | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Str0ke- | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | spph | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | El Patrón | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🔸Yuliyan | 408 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Skyfusion | 387 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | HadesA | 126 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪︎ StyriX | 115 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Str0ke- | 91 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Str0ke- | +4.70 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | Mafiota | +1.84 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | Skyfusion | +1.40 | 77 | 68 |
| #4 | 🔸Yuliyan | +0.99 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | R1 | +0.43 | 78 | 74 |





