








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1011 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6267 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3962 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4100 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3822 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,705,769 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 754 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Str0ke- | 68% | 56 |
| #2 | 🔸Yuliyan | 63% | 122 |
| #3 | Mafiota | 62% | 133 |
| #4 | spph | 60% | 62 |
| #5 | ✪︎ StyriX | 59% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FluviaL | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | 🔸Yuliyan | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Mafiota | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | R1 | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ✪︎ StyriX | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🔸Yuliyan | 437 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mafiota | 393 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | ✪︎ StyriX | 391 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | HadesA | 351 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | R1 | 313 | 0.15 | 8 min |





