








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1257 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11632 | 25% |
| Smokes | 12767 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 10277 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 11197 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,433,644 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Zohan | 55% | 112 |
| #2 | DnT | 55% | 231 |
| #3 | Hugh Janus | 53% | 242 |
| #4 | weirdhoney | 53% | 141 |
| #5 | You A QT ♡ | 52% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Speedy | 52% | 108 |
| #7 | BeltFedBird | 51% | 138 |
| #8 | Vital | 51% | 71 |
| #9 | Swag_Lured | 46% | 93 |
| #10 | artaxiann | 45% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag_Lured | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | You A QT ♡ | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Hugh Janus | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | DnT | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | BeltFedBird | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | You A QT ♡ | 855 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | Hugh Janus | 759 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | DnT | 653 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #4 | weirdhoney | 471 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | BeltFedBird | 404 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | You A QT ♡ | +1.66 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | Hugh Janus | +1.01 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | DnT | +0.69 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | BeltFedBird | +0.30 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | Speedy | +0.18 | 79 | 62 |





