








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 479 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3346 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5954 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7984 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4764 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $255,479 of utility $20 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 803 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blayblade | 52% | 64 |
| #2 | bep | 51% | 189 |
| #3 | simpypimp | 50% | 335 |
| #4 | ✪ BLACKS3A | 49% | 150 |
| #5 | Daniel Larson | 47% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuzieUppedTheUzi | 54 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | Daniel Larson | 41 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | bep | 38 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | simpypimp | 36 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | ✪ BLACKS3A | 18 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daniel Larson | 900 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | SuzieUppedTheUzi | 367 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | ✪ BLACKS3A | 355 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | WA GE | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | simpypimp | 139 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simpypimp | +1.44 | 62 | 26 |
| #2 | ✪ BLACKS3A | +1.25 | 58 | 44 |
| #3 | blayblade | +0.75 | 72 | 42 |
| #4 | Daniel Larson | +0.54 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | Light up Skechers | +0.15 | 52 | 53 |





