










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1892 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1423 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1820 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 621 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $272,264 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 330 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WA GE | 16 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | The Last Butt Plugger | 14 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | gods drunkest driver | 13 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Light up Skechers | 12 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | SuzieUppedTheUzi | 10 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emir That Weighs Quite a Ton | 242 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Light up Skechers | 201 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | WA GE | 180 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | The Last Butt Plugger | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | SuzieUppedTheUzi | 71 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ BLACKS3A | +1.53 | 62 | 49 |
| #2 | gods drunkest driver | +0.79 | 63 | 29 |
| #3 | Emir That Weighs Quite a Ton | +0.48 | 52 | 72 |
| #4 | Light up Skechers | +0.23 | 55 | 57 |
| #5 | SuzieUppedTheUzi | -0.22 | 39 | 59 |





