








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3166 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2226 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3132 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1944 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,164 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elmo On Fire | 65% | 63 |
| #2 | CrimsonPyro99 | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | drai | 48% | 144 |
| #4 | SeismicGreen | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | Tonton | 47% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drai | 18 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Tonton | 17 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | CrimsonPyro99 | 13 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | SeismicGreen | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | IsaTheOtaku | 6 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonton | 618 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | SeismicGreen | 401 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #3 | drai | 276 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | [NN]hjlu432 | 249 | 0.35 | 8 min |
| #5 | Elmo On Fire | 132 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elmo On Fire | +3.20 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | drai | +2.29 | 84 | 39 |
| #3 | Jokur | +1.77 | 80 | 74 |
| #4 | Tonton | +1.13 | 36 | 63 |
| #5 | RagingBanobo | +0.65 | 53 | 60 |





