








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 310 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3706 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4099 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2462 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4212 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,431,520 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1004 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrimsonPyro99 | 52% | 52 |
| #2 | Elmo On Fire | 51% | 154 |
| #3 | drai | 50% | 229 |
| #4 | S1mbaâ™› | 48% | 135 |
| #5 | Tonton | 47% | 440 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonton | 30 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | SeismicGreen | 26 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | drai | 22 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Mini Patronツ | 16 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Jokur | 14 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonton | 2125 | 0.24 | 59 min |
| #2 | SeismicGreen | 1159 | 0.34 | 27 min |
| #3 | drai | 437 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Elmo On Fire | 421 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #5 | S1mbaâ™› | 236 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elmo On Fire | +5.25 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | drai | +4.21 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | Tonton | +2.76 | 37 | 67 |
| #4 | CrimsonPyro99 | +2.20 | 32 | 53 |
| #5 | Jokur | +1.89 | 86 | 72 |





