








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5292 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2153 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3115 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2254 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $624,871 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N/A | 49% | 108 |
| #2 | V̈el | 49% | 176 |
| #3 | S1mba♛ | 48% | 109 |
| #4 | Jokur | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | тσηтση | 44% | 332 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тσηтση | 33 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Jokur | 32 | 0.0215 |
| #3 | V̈el | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | IsaTheOtaku | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | S1mba♛ | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тσηтση | 1338 | 0.21 | 36 min |
| #2 | V̈el | 347 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Jokur | 321 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | IsaTheOtaku | 281 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | N/A | 243 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N/A | +5.93 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | V̈el | +5.52 | 79 | 38 |
| #3 | Jokur | +3.19 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | тσηтση | +3.17 | 37 | 61 |
| #5 | S1mba♛ | +1.42 | 30 | 50 |





