








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 246 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1867 | 25% |
| Smokes | 549 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 3315 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1819 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,463,823 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tonton | 48% | 156 |
| #7 | drai | 48% | 213 |
| #8 | modrai | 41% | 39 |
| #9 | ʟᴜᴄɪᴅʚĭɞ | 41% | 76 |
| #10 | S1mba♛ | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drai | 27 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Tonton | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Elmo On Fire | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Jokur | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Mini Patronツ | 4 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonton | 704 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Elmo On Fire | 460 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | drai | 407 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jokur | 213 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | IsaTheOtaku | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elmo On Fire | +3.43 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | Jokur | +2.80 | 75 | 79 |
| #3 | drai | +2.20 | 78 | 47 |
| #4 | CrimsonPyro99 | +0.43 | 31 | 53 |
| #5 | Tonton | +0.16 | 30 | 67 |





