








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Wingman | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




117 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9939 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7670 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5854 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5342 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,639,774 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheryua | 69% | 99 |
| #2 | shrimple | 65% | 86 |
| #3 | intellectual dog | 56% | 250 |
| #4 | meow thing | 54% | 287 |
| #5 | aaaaaa | 53% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | intellectual dog | 56% | 250 |
| #4 | meow thing | 54% | 287 |
| #5 | aaaaaa | 53% | 223 |
| #6 | SEAGULL CAM | 52% | 58 |
| #7 | THEConterstrkr500lbWARRIORs0mple | 44% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aaaaaa | 32 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Sheryua | 31 | 0.0173 |
| #3 | intellectual dog | 21 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | meow thing | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | SEAGULL CAM | 6 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intellectual dog | 553 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | meow thing | 469 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | aaaaaa | 326 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | THEConterstrkr500lbWARRIORs0mple | 293 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sheryua | 224 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snow leopard | +2.59 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | Sheryua | +2.38 | 86 | 48 |
| #3 | intellectual dog | +2.36 | 78 | 55 |
| #4 | THEConterstrkr500lbWARRIORs0mple | -0.39 | 61 | 65 |
| #5 | aaaaaa | -0.45 | 63 | 33 |





