








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2245 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4163 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2760 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3314 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $996,027 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snow leopard | 65% | 86 |
| #2 | xawsome | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | Oupi Goupi | 49% | 141 |
| #4 | red | 48% | 110 |
| #5 | sc̅htik fsէr märgæ尺kcqʻū | 48% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snow leopard | 449 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | red | 392 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | sc̅htik fsէr märgæ尺kcqʻū | 312 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | stweiew1k | 197 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Oupi Goupi | 186 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snow leopard | +2.81 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Oupi Goupi | +1.87 | 73 | 38 |
| #3 | shrimple | +0.09 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | sc̅htik fsէr märgæ尺kcqʻū | -0.01 | 68 | 44 |
| #5 | red | -0.03 | 35 | 51 |





