








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




139 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3101 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1148 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2830 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2428 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,659,553 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emo boy footjob | 71% | 52 |
| #2 | Ei8htyHD | 70% | 132 |
| #3 | snow leopard | 69% | 99 |
| #4 | Milo | 63% | 153 |
| #5 | r0chs | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Milo | 63% | 153 |
| #5 | r0chs | 56% | 45 |
| #6 | shaqeel oneel | 50% | 101 |
| #7 | nurd | 49% | 90 |
| #8 | koz | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shaqeel oneel | 79 | 0.0424 |
| #2 | nurd | 54 | 0.0334 |
| #3 | snow leopard | 23 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | Milo | 20 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Ei8htyHD | 16 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ei8htyHD | 386 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Milo | 218 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | snow leopard | 213 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | shaqeel oneel | 116 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | nurd | 76 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ei8htyHD | +5.41 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Milo | +3.45 | 85 | 54 |
| #3 | Sheryua | +2.97 | 82 | 43 |
| #4 | snow leopard | +2.33 | 81 | 53 |
| #5 | nurd | +1.68 | 74 | 11 |





