








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




107 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1116 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1425 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2532 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2161 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,527,055 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOOKIE | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | ReallyAv1 | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | vita | 48% | 62 |
| #4 | Baldus | 45% | 193 |
| #5 | Trashbag Popcorn | 45% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baldus | 31 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | vita | 26 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | swasher | 16 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | DOOKIE | 7 | 0.0126 |
| #5 | ReallyAv1 | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baldus | 530 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | swasher | 193 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | vita | 168 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Trashbag Popcorn | 165 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | dis_pc | 147 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vita | +3.51 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | DOOKIE | +3.50 | 88 | 60 |
| #3 | dis_pc | +0.83 | 46 | 73 |
| #4 | swasher | +0.47 | 63 | 53 |
| #5 | Fonzey | +0.45 | 75 | 37 |





