








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 530 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




126 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7912 | 24% |
| Smokes | 10771 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 8786 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5831 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,895,805 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 882 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gravyity | 51% | 246 |
| #2 | 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 | 48% | 222 |
| #3 | Archetype | 44% | 284 |
| #4 | Fonzey | 43% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gravyity | 51% | 246 |
| #2 | 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 | 48% | 222 |
| #3 | Archetype | 44% | 284 |
| #4 | Fonzey | 43% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 | 42 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Gravyity | 33 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Fonzey | 25 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Archetype | 12 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 | 251 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Archetype | 217 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fonzey | 94 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gravyity | 47 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gravyity | +3.92 | 75 | 26 |
| #2 | swasher | +1.84 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | Fonzey | +0.51 | 73 | 37 |
| #4 | Archetype | -2.73 | 49 | 29 |
| #5 | 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 | -4.78 | 30 | 29 |





