








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5049 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4404 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3774 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3596 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3612 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,464,457 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1888 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carl | 73% | 33 |
| #2 | Frighten | 71% | 31 |
| #3 | Endadoor | 70% | 43 |
| #4 | dolph | 67% | 39 |
| #5 | Big Papi Chulo | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Revolt | 53% | 34 |
| #8 | Trashbag Popcorn | 49% | 183 |
| #9 | Fonzey | 48% | 62 |
| #10 | Baldus | 47% | 154 |
| #11 | Ch00per | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baldus | 17 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Fonzey | 14 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | dolph | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Revolt | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Endadoor | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baldus | 439 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Trashbag Popcorn | 357 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | dolph | 357 | 0.44 | 10 min |
| #4 | carl | 153 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | Frighten | 135 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vita | +2.26 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | Frighten | +1.60 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | dolph | +1.13 | 69 | 81 |
| #4 | Endadoor | +1.03 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | Big Papi Chulo | +0.73 | 63 | 61 |





