








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1370 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1116 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1091 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1137 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,569 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sirnerd | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | KennyK | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | colin | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Primal | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | carszin | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | FusiioN | 40% | 5 |
| #17 | -Ramen_ | 40% | 15 |
| #18 | gaijin | 40% | 20 |
| #19 | Zoom | 36% | 11 |
| #20 | Axessor | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sirnerd | 3 | 0.0353 |
| #2 | gaijin | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Zoom | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Reaper | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | JTrops | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaijin | 111 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | Spooky Jinneah | 73 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | carszin | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Banss | 66 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #5 | -Ramen_ | 62 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyK | +6.78 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | JTrops | +3.21 | 84 | 80 |
| #3 | -Ramen_ | +2.60 | 88 | 57 |
| #4 | sirnerd | +2.59 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | I love the new kanye | +2.10 | 94 | 70 |





