








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4819 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4072 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2427 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3580 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,503 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colin | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | 天使 | 66% | 50 |
| #3 | Primal | 64% | 50 |
| #4 | cucumber | 63% | 59 |
| #5 | Archaic | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Archaic | 60% | 25 |
| #6 | chris | 54% | 48 |
| #7 | loltrip | 52% | 31 |
| #8 | Axessor | 50% | 105 |
| #9 | heehee | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loltrip | 7 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Axessor | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Primal | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | chris | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Archaic | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axessor | 507 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Primal | 331 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #3 | cucumber | 267 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | 天使 | 261 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | heehee | 243 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colin | +1.69 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | Spooky Jinneah | +1.65 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | Primal | +0.91 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | cucumber | +0.76 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | chris | +0.71 | 87 | 56 |





