








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 334 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5199 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3846 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2395 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4580 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,033 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 354 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Okita | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | ✪Sword | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | Primal | 63% | 82 |
| #4 | cucumber | 60% | 58 |
| #5 | Archaic | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | loltrip | 52% | 27 |
| #10 | 天使 | 51% | 47 |
| #11 | sirnerd | 50% | 22 |
| #12 | Spooky Jinneah | 50% | 105 |
| #13 | chris | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fer | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | cucumber | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Spooky Jinneah | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | chris | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | 天使 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spooky Jinneah | 517 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | Primal | 494 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #3 | 天使 | 257 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | heehee | 217 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | cucumber | 216 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colin | +2.67 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | fer | +1.17 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | Primal | +1.01 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | Spooky Jinneah | +0.99 | 86 | 55 |
| #5 | ✪Sword | +0.90 | 75 | 44 |





