








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 324 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4625 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3106 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3026 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3981 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,406,544 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheesie Bigs | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | Maxpowi | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | zeeK | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Cakir | 63% | 72 |
| #5 | FusiioN | 62% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tildoh | 58% | 64 |
| #8 | dillybar$6.99 | 57% | 65 |
| #9 | War Monke | 54% | 79 |
| #10 | coastin | 53% | 87 |
| #11 | mjm15cs | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EDGE | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | FusiioN | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | War Monke | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Tildoh | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | coastin | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EDGE | 1531 | 0.26 | 28 min |
| #2 | FusiioN | 1007 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #3 | coastin | 375 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | Cakir | 300 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | War Monke | 276 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeeK | +2.52 | 78 | 76 |
| #2 | Tildoh | +1.02 | 72 | 43 |
| #3 | EDGE | +0.96 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | coastin | +0.87 | 86 | 51 |
| #5 | Cakir | +0.85 | 82 | 59 |





