








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1095 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1216 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1077 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1090 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,211 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $ Speax $ | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Palace king | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Fede | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | Asta | 68% | 40 |
| #5 | b1 | 62% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | wa1zted | 56% | 16 |
| #10 | Gumma | 56% | 9 |
| #11 | hadnn | 51% | 45 |
| #12 | h3nr1kko | 50% | 12 |
| #13 | -Glutt0niE♿ | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palace king | 3 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | Fede | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Gumma | 2 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1 | 230 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | hadnn | 146 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kr1se | 121 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Asta | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fede | 58 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gumma | +2.49 | 84 | 50 |
| #2 | Omuhlette | +2.34 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | marcoyuka | +2.12 | 74 | 73 |
| #4 | Fede | +2.07 | 83 | 73 |
| #5 | -Glutt0niE♿ | +2.02 | 60 | 66 |





