








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 296 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1479 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2453 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3363 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2922 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,463,006 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 632 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KINGOFCACHE | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | TommySalami69Endesi | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | laZer | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Finite3 | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | HatTapper | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Finite3 | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | HatTapper | 47% | 49 |
| #6 | Emmorf | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | Lamest | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | BocchiTheAwp | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BocchiTheAwp | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Lamest | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | TommySalami69Endesi | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KINGOFCACHE | 284 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | TommySalami69Endesi | 94 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lamest | 87 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Finite3 | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Emmorf | 76 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emmorf | +3.52 | 76 | 77 |
| #2 | BocchiTheAwp | +2.29 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | Lamest | +1.98 | 82 | 71 |
| #4 | KINGOFCACHE | +0.93 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | Finite3 | +0.38 | 69 | 57 |





