








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2326 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2648 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1352 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2293 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $968,284 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 332 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | b1tter | 50% | 26 |
| #9 | DiV1NiTY | 50% | 36 |
| #10 | Kel | 48% | 48 |
| #11 | HatTapper | 48% | 44 |
| #12 | BocchiTheAwp | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEUZZS69 | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Kel | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | HatTapper | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | BocchiTheAwp | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Jordan | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan | 404 | 0.59 | 11 min |
| #2 | DiV1NiTY | 200 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kel | 142 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | BocchiTheAwp | 71 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ködemeizter | 70 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brantonn | +3.90 | 63 | 58 |
| #2 | ködemeizter | +1.81 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | BocchiTheAwp | +1.80 | 74 | 53 |
| #4 | Jordan | +1.52 | 61 | 75 |
| #5 | DiV1NiTY | +1.32 | 74 | 67 |





