








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2529 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3271 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3666 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3420 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,278,621 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 605 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dishwasher | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Bob4 | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | smF | 44% | 32 |
| #4 | ℬ₳ℬ¥ツ | 35% | 31 |
| #5 | ✪ FiRE2k | 30% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dishwasher | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Bob4 | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | smF | 44% | 32 |
| #4 | ℬ₳ℬ¥ツ | 35% | 31 |
| #5 | ✪ FiRE2k | 30% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ FiRE2k | 22 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | Dishwasher | 19 | 0.0257 |
| #3 | smF | 10 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | ℬ₳ℬ¥ツ | 6 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Bob4 | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ FiRE2k | 198 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Dishwasher | 188 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | smF | 174 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bob4 | 154 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | ℬ₳ℬ¥ツ | 101 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smF | +3.50 | 84 | 83 |
| #2 | Dishwasher | +2.91 | 87 | 55 |
| #3 | Bob4 | +1.91 | 62 | 50 |
| #4 | no woman until 2028 | +1.41 | 62 | 64 |
| #5 | ✪ FiRE2k | -1.74 | 71 | 55 |





