








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 833 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




149 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3442 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5367 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4642 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5632 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,454,739 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 962 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItzMellon™ | 49% | 134 |
| #2 | wohoo | 48% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItzMellon™ | 49% | 134 |
| #2 | wohoo | 48% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItzMellon™ | 66 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | wohoo | 49 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItzMellon™ | 264 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | wohoo | 258 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Streets are calling me | +1.16 | 81 | 39 |
| #2 | ItzMellon™ | +0.31 | 78 | 47 |
| #3 | wohoo | +0.13 | 71 | 50 |





