








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2721 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3120 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1476 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2287 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,085 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph3nom | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | oOoo | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Taisto | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | JUAH | 67% | 27 |
| #5 | Handu | 65% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Torpan pyöveli | 55% | 22 |
| #12 | gibliks | 50% | 10 |
| #13 | the best asslander | 50% | 20 |
| #14 | ✪ AQ | 50% | 20 |
| #15 | JihanX | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonzki | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Masi | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | roberto san | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | lasso | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Handu | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonzki | 560 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | Masi | 336 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | roberto san | 328 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | lasso | 141 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Handu | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonzki | +4.97 | 94 | 74 |
| #2 | ph3nom | +2.97 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | Potkupuku | +1.70 | 76 | 71 |
| #4 | Handu | +0.24 | 85 | 61 |
| #5 | the best asslander | -0.39 | 65 | 71 |





