








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Renown | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7233 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6234 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5061 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5097 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,040,644 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | lasso | 53% | 191 |
| #12 | Torpan pyöveli | 48% | 54 |
| #13 | JihanX | 47% | 43 |
| #14 | Tohtori | 46% | 41 |
| #15 | ✪ AQ | 33% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roberto san | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Masi | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | lasso | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Pallero | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Potkupuku | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roberto san | 1056 | 0.25 | 28 min |
| #2 | Masi | 791 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #3 | Potkupuku | 644 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #4 | lasso | 642 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #5 | Handu | 326 | 0.10 | 7 min |





