








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 668 matches | ||
| Faceit | 366 matches | ||
| Renown | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 57,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14956 | 26% |
| Smokes | 16663 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 12444 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 12942 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,919,560 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1817 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masi | 60% | 94 |
| #2 | Handu | 56% | 122 |
| #3 | Jonzki | 55% | 199 |
| #4 | Tohtori | 50% | 192 |
| #5 | Torpan pyöveli | 49% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | the best asslander | 49% | 82 |
| #9 | lasso | 47% | 380 |
| #10 | kokematon ponkka | 46% | 132 |
| #11 | gibliks | 43% | 243 |
| #12 | ✪ AQ | 41% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasso | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Tohtori | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | MikaBiceps | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | ✪ AQ | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | gibliks | 7 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasso | 1258 | 0.16 | 36 min |
| #2 | ✪ AQ | 789 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #3 | Jonzki | 719 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #4 | Torpan pyöveli | 469 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | Tohtori | 465 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonzki | +6.41 | 94 | 76 |
| #2 | Tohtori | +4.06 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | the best asslander | +1.66 | 72 | 74 |
| #4 | Handu | +1.66 | 83 | 62 |
| #5 | MikaBiceps | +0.81 | 63 | 64 |





