








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 860 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Faceit | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4931 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3884 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2615 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2995 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,157,437 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glögg | 58% | 153 |
| #2 | Sølvsten ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 56% | 126 |
| #3 | Gad | 56% | 146 |
| #4 | Lil Willy in a Wheelchair | 53% | 66 |
| #5 | jake | 51% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gad | 56% | 146 |
| #4 | Lil Willy in a Wheelchair | 53% | 66 |
| #5 | jake | 51% | 68 |
| #6 | Shyp3R | 49% | 181 |
| #7 | Moarten | 49% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moarten | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Shyp3R | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Gad | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Lil Willy in a Wheelchair | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Glögg | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shyp3R | 641 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | Glögg | 324 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gad | 186 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | jake | 165 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sølvsten ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 164 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cykelsøren | +1.96 | 69 | 67 |
| #2 | Sølvsten ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +1.15 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | jake | +0.40 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | Glögg | +0.29 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | Moarten | -0.23 | 81 | 47 |





