








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1689 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1103 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1516 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1588 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $559,249 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gad | 51% | 61 |
| #6 | Need gf, type 123 | 50% | 20 |
| #7 | Lil Willy in a Wheelchair | 50% | 28 |
| #8 | Delca | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | WILK1NSON | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glögg | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Sølvsten ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Need gf, type 123 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Delca | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cykelsøren | 226 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Glögg | 183 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sølvsten ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 83 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gad | 66 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Need gf, type 123 | 53 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jake | +2.08 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | Sølvsten ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +1.10 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | Cykelsøren | +0.51 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | Glögg | -0.53 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | Lil Willy in a Wheelchair | -1.18 | 54 | 56 |





