








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 835 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Faceit | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8009 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7147 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3847 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4423 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,842 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HavoCSoft | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | Treat PhDD | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Treat PhD- | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | venikue | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | Haunt | 51% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | venikue | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | Haunt | 51% | 233 |
| #6 | CSGOAvoid | 46% | 50 |
| #7 | C.R.E.A.M. | 45% | 31 |
| #8 | JaJaDinks | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haunt | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | HavoCSoft | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | venikue | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | C.R.E.A.M. | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | JaJaDinks | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haunt | 277 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | venikue | 164 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Treat PhD- | 141 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Treat PhDD | 121 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | HavoCSoft | 118 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treat PhDD | +2.92 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | C.R.E.A.M. | +1.97 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | Treat PhD- | +1.95 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | brimmz | +1.23 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | venikue | +0.26 | 58 | 62 |





