








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Wingman | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3635 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3457 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5449 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3628 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,403 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππ½πΈπΆπ²π΄ | 69% | 45 |
| #2 | sgtdrewkaput | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | CSGOAvoid | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | KiruLo | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | Recoilmaster | 56% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | TJ^ | 55% | 29 |
| #7 | Haunt | 54% | 90 |
| #8 | ColeSH | 54% | 74 |
| #9 | Jook | 51% | 37 |
| #10 | brimmz | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haunt | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ColeSH | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | KiruLo | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | sgtdrewkaput | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Recoilmaster | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brimmz | 145 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | KiruLo | 138 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | ColeSH | 135 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Haunt | 129 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jook | 108 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiruLo | +7.25 | 98 | 56 |
| #2 | ππ½πΈπΆπ²π΄ | +3.46 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | Recoilmaster | +3.42 | 77 | 39 |
| #4 | Jook | +2.42 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | ColeSH | +0.96 | 48 | 47 |





