








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5179 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3581 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2939 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3250 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,851 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karma | 91% | 22 |
| #2 | Lep ツ | 78% | 23 |
| #3 | *** Fielies *** | 73% | 22 |
| #4 | ☭oceanpuller☭ | 68% | 22 |
| #5 | jerry | 67% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xrx: | 27 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Mandingo | 23 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | jerry | 14 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Kola | 10 | 0.0178 |
| #5 | *** Fielies *** | 7 | 0.0155 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jerry | 375 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | xrx: | 306 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mandingo | 140 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kola | 140 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ladder | 106 | 0.12 | 3 min |





