








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3394 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3319 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2606 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3253 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $734,498 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supremee^ | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | AzariuS | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | JD | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | shepp- | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | gbmaster | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Teo ⛴ | 50% | 62 |
| #9 | Swiftie John | 48% | 27 |
| #10 | Coach | 47% | 109 |
| #11 | -Kologne | 42% | 43 |
| #12 | BeansRailed | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coach | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | gbmaster | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | JD | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | shepp- | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Teo ⛴ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coach | 204 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | -Kologne | 169 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | JD | 87 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Teo ⛴ | 63 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | HOONY | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supremee^ | +2.53 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | xaaY | +2.07 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | MK | +1.53 | 78 | 44 |
| #4 | Coach | +1.01 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | HOONY | +0.77 | 58 | 54 |





