








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 382 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5338 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3409 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2709 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2686 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,988,854 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1018 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | octane | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Teo ⛴ | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | -Z3rohp- | 55% | 132 |
| #4 | Coach | 47% | 133 |
| #5 | shepp- | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Z3rohp- | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Coach | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | octane | 6 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Maksym Talovyerov | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | xaaY | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Z3rohp- | 400 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Coach | 261 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | xaaY | 136 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Maksym Talovyerov | 132 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | octane | 65 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Z3rohp- | +2.74 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | xaaY | +1.14 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | Coach | +0.39 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | Maksym Talovyerov | -0.14 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | -Kologne | -0.31 | 79 | 60 |





