








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 841 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 446 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 467 | 5% |
| Smokes | 1240 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 5552 | 64% |
| Molotovs | 1401 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,483,772 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BeansRailed | 46% | 180 |
| #9 | Teo ⛴ | 44% | 39 |
| #10 | HOONY | 44% | 218 |
| #11 | JD | 43% | 180 |
| #12 | shepp- | 42% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOONY | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Coach | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | supremee^ | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | JD | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | shepp- | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supremee^ | 593 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | JD | 539 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | BeansRailed | 520 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | Coach | 376 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | HOONY | 333 | 0.07 | 8 min |





