








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1081 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1157 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1062 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 518 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 998 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,145 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connnski | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | Tides | 51% | 53 |
| #3 | DCLEV | 49% | 49 |
| #4 | csacaffe | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Benny10k | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Benny10k | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | Orbit Inspire | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | Splooti | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | beaux | 37% | 30 |
| #9 | Lobster | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connnski | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Orbit Inspire | 3 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | Splooti | 3 | 0.0152 |
| #4 | Benny10k | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Tides | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DCLEV | 178 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Benny10k | 159 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tides | 137 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | connnski | 113 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | csacaffe | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bulleT | +0.90 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | Benny10k | +0.79 | 69 | 82 |
| #3 | DCLEV | +0.54 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | Orbit Inspire | -0.36 | 52 | 57 |
| #5 | Tides | -0.53 | 67 | 57 |





