








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1104 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1164 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 902 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 898 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,239 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skinbeard122 | 64% | 70 |
| #2 | LadySamWitch115 | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Sonk Ponkle | 57% | 167 |
| #4 | O. Just O. | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | ExplorerAlex | 52% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sonk Ponkle | 57% | 167 |
| #4 | O. Just O. | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | ExplorerAlex | 52% | 125 |
| #6 | Help2 | 47% | 36 |
| #7 | Diabloo__ | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sonk Ponkle | 27 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | ExplorerAlex | 22 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | skinbeard122 | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | O. Just O. | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Diabloo__ | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sonk Ponkle | 494 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | ExplorerAlex | 286 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Help2 | 64 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | skinbeard122 | 63 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | O. Just O. | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asifc77 | +2.64 | 40 | 34 |
| #2 | Help2 | +2.53 | 43 | 67 |
| #3 | LadySamWitch115 | +0.09 | 46 | 21 |
| #4 | ExplorerAlex | -0.22 | 37 | 39 |
| #5 | Sonk Ponkle | -0.28 | 27 | 49 |





