








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2 | 15% |
| Smokes | 10 | 77% |
| HE Grenades | 0 | 0% |
| Molotovs | 1 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $8,629 of utility $12 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryo | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Help2 | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | gamecubebro | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Sonk Ponkle | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | skinbeard122 | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | gamecubebro | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Sonk Ponkle | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | skinbeard122 | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | asifc77 | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | ExplorerAlex | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asifc77 | 8 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Sonk Ponkle | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | ExplorerAlex | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | gamecubebro | 1 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asifc77 | 76 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sonk Ponkle | 62 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | ExplorerAlex | 33 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | gamecubebro | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | skinbeard122 | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryo | +6.87 | 28 | 30 |
| #2 | Help2 | +6.62 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | asifc77 | +2.27 | 44 | 34 |
| #4 | ExplorerAlex | +1.88 | 54 | 45 |
| #5 | Sonk Ponkle | +1.67 | 48 | 36 |





