








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1059 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1294 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1069 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 582 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $557,482 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LadySamWitch115 | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | O. Just O. | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Sonk Ponkle | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | asifc77 | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | ExplorerAlex | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sonk Ponkle | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | asifc77 | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | ExplorerAlex | 46% | 37 |
| #6 | skinbeard122 | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | Ari456 | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExplorerAlex | 12 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | asifc77 | 10 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | Sonk Ponkle | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | O. Just O. | 1 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | skinbeard122 | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sonk Ponkle | 194 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | ExplorerAlex | 109 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | asifc77 | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ari456 | 19 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | LadySamWitch115 | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LadySamWitch115 | +3.33 | 56 | 16 |
| #2 | Help2 | +2.43 | 49 | 67 |
| #3 | asifc77 | +2.16 | 36 | 31 |
| #4 | Ari456 | +1.02 | 24 | 45 |
| #5 | skinbeard122 | -2.32 | 26 | 35 |





