








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2632 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2116 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1980 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2038 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $490,071 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 519 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuaj | 92% | 25 |
| #2 | Captain Flex | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | Invest in Antwerp | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | the underweartaker | 68% | 34 |
| #5 | Frankfurda | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuaj | 18 | 0.0386 |
| #2 | Dulltrax | 13 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | the underweartaker | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | Go Trade Men | 6 | 0.0264 |
| #5 | sippin' on skull & bones sizzurp | 5 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sippin' on skull & bones sizzurp | 237 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #2 | Dulltrax | 233 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | the underweartaker | 203 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #4 | CHRIZZ | 115 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nuaj | 90 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuaj | +4.37 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | Captain Flex | +3.67 | 83 | 33 |
| #3 | Frankfurda | +3.25 | 73 | 84 |
| #4 | Invest in Antwerp | +3.15 | 73 | 73 |
| #5 | the underweartaker | +2.37 | 74 | 56 |





