








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1395 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1015 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1075 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $354,503 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ε³δ½Ώζ²ζθ·―ζδΉζηΉΌηΊ | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | ben69fatmaniac | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | TΕkyΕ GΕ«ru | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | πππ luws you <3 | 66% | 58 |
| #5 | Jammu_BOB benstain | 54% | 61 |





