








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 627 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 532 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1295 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2022 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1048 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,186,686 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1038 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vel | 50% | 54 |
| #2 | Purple | 44% | 64 |
| #3 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 40% | 325 |
| #4 | Baby Gorilla | 40% | 301 |
| #5 | Stingle | 35% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Purple | 44% | 64 |
| #3 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 40% | 325 |
| #4 | Baby Gorilla | 40% | 301 |
| #5 | Stingle | 35% | 51 |
| #6 | chalk | 30% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 95 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Baby Gorilla | 36 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | vel | 14 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | Purple | 13 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | chalk | 7 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 1017 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | Purple | 159 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Baby Gorilla | 136 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | vel | 95 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | chalk | 93 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | +3.82 | 65 | 57 |
| #2 | vel | +3.65 | 82 | 49 |
| #3 | Purple | +2.05 | 66 | 49 |
| #4 | Vinny 4.0 | -1.25 | 58 | 22 |
| #5 | chalk | -2.08 | 30 | 39 |





