








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1386 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1207 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2529 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1627 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $814,467 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1044 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zinnq | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 33% | 96 |
| #3 | Baby Gorilla | 32% | 76 |
| #4 | Purple | 31% | 26 |
| #5 | Vinny 4.0 | 30% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zinnq | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 33% | 96 |
| #3 | Baby Gorilla | 32% | 76 |
| #4 | Purple | 31% | 26 |
| #5 | Vinny 4.0 | 30% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 29 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Baby Gorilla | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Vinny 4.0 | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Purple | 5 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 312 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Purple | 67 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | zinnq | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Baby Gorilla | 37 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vinny 4.0 | 23 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zinnq | +4.03 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | +3.58 | 52 | 60 |
| #3 | Purple | +0.62 | 61 | 51 |
| #4 | chalk | -1.47 | 37 | 50 |
| #5 | Vinny 4.0 | -1.59 | 50 | 23 |





