








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1507 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1388 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1657 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 988 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,142 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stingle | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 48% | 211 |
| #3 | Vinny 4.0 | 44% | 64 |
| #4 | Baby Gorilla | 43% | 160 |
| #5 | chalk | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 48% | 211 |
| #3 | Vinny 4.0 | 44% | 64 |
| #4 | Baby Gorilla | 43% | 160 |
| #5 | chalk | 31% | 26 |
| #6 | Ran<3 | 27% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 36 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Baby Gorilla | 27 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Vinny 4.0 | 16 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | Ran<3 | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | chalk | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 600 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Baby Gorilla | 74 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #3 | chalk | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vinny 4.0 | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stingle | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | +3.51 | 64 | 55 |
| #2 | Purple | +1.59 | 66 | 48 |
| #3 | chalk | -0.22 | 31 | 46 |
| #4 | Vinny 4.0 | -1.49 | 56 | 13 |
| #5 | Baby Gorilla | -4.09 | 35 | 27 |





