








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1063 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




189 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7990 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8622 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9924 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7435 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,828 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vel | 60% | 313 |
| #2 | lol k | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | Purple | 48% | 211 |
| #4 | Baby Gorilla | 44% | 597 |
| #5 | Vinny 4.0 | 40% | 325 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Purple | 48% | 211 |
| #4 | Baby Gorilla | 44% | 597 |
| #5 | Vinny 4.0 | 40% | 325 |
| #6 | Stingle | 34% | 106 |
| #7 | chalk | 33% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby Gorilla | 74 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Vinny 4.0 | 50 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | vel | 49 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Purple | 29 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | chalk | 11 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vel | 548 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | Purple | 422 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Baby Gorilla | 271 | 0.02 | 5 min |
| #4 | chalk | 170 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vinny 4.0 | 134 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | +3.42 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | vel | +2.63 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | lol k | +2.45 | 77 | 51 |
| #4 | Purple | +1.60 | 66 | 48 |
| #5 | Vinny 4.0 | -1.34 | 55 | 21 |





