








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 888 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 492 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7268 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7899 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8910 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8389 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,833,897 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby Gorilla | 62% | 156 |
| #2 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 60% | 313 |
| #3 | lol k | 54% | 231 |
| #4 | Vinny 4.0 | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baby Gorilla | 62% | 156 |
| #2 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 60% | 313 |
| #3 | lol k | 54% | 231 |
| #4 | Vinny 4.0 | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 73 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Baby Gorilla | 16 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | lol k | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Vinny 4.0 | 8 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | 935 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | lol k | 425 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Baby Gorilla | 79 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vinny 4.0 | 25 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GlizzyGobblerGloria | +2.40 | 66 | 60 |
| #2 | vel | +2.01 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | lol k | +0.74 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | Vinny 4.0 | -3.27 | 50 | 21 |
| #5 | Baby Gorilla | -3.78 | 38 | 26 |





