








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 435 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




109 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5566 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6824 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6068 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7734 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,801,475 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan Stevens | 70% | 77 |
| #2 | poopyhead | 69% | 305 |
| #3 | Mocha | 67% | 174 |
| #4 | Schmidty | 65% | 405 |
| #5 | ✪ Gamer | 65% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mocha | +3.75 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | doobatron | +3.60 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | poopyhead | +2.94 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | duhpe | +2.45 | 90 | 59 |
| #5 | Schmidty | +1.55 | 72 | 41 |





